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How many times can you give your life to Christ before it stops counting? I’m asking for a friend. The friend is me.
The first time I committed my life to Christ, I was a little girl at a school assembly. My little head was bowed, eyes closed, and a preacher saying, “Come on up if you want to give your life to Jesus.” The trut is I had little to no idea what that decision meant, but I felt a tug. At the time I did not know it was a conviction, but technically, it counted, right?
At 19, I did it again. I decided to take a leap of faith and recommit my life to Christ. This time I had a little more clarity. I would love to say that was the moment I completely surrendered my life to Christ and never looked back. It was not.
That moment was the onset of a cycle I would like to call my rededication era. I would go on to rededicate my life in my bedroom. At prayer meetings when I felt convicted. Fresh out of a night out, promising God I would never do it again.
What may be surprising is every time I rededicated my life to Christ, I meant it. Still every time, I would fall, repent, and get up.
The danger is when you fall into that cycle enough times, questions begin to ruminate in your mind. I’ll confess, the questions in my mind became loud.
Questions like,
- Can I even get back up again?
- Is this working for me?
- Am I just a hypocrite?
After months of repetition and questioning, I was tired, embarrassed, and defeated. At my worst, I was ready to give up.
Even then, I did not quit. I kept repenting and I kept getting up.
Eventually, I got it. The little girl at the altar call, the 19-year-old serial backslider, became the 26-year-old who finally fully recommitted her life to Christ.
Why Do I Keep Making The Same Mistakes As A Christian?
In my experience, it comes down to two root issues.
Root #1: Unrealistic expectations
Somewhere along the way, many believers picked up the idea that once you accept Christ, the struggle with sin is supposed to just… poof, disappear.
The problem is that your flesh didn’t get the memo. Your flesh is your human nature, the part of us that wants to feel good right now, and it was on that altar of commitment by force. Truthfully, your has no desire to submit.
Here’s where the expectation becomes a trap. If you believed you were supposed to be perfect in an instant, a fall doesn’t feel like a mistake. It feels like proof. A self-fulfilling prophecy. You begin to think, “See, I knew I couldn’t do this.”
You replay it and beat yourself up, each time. Worst case, you start allowing your mistakes to define you. Eaxample, if you told a lie, you are not thinking “I told a lie”, but instead start thinking “I am a liar.”
With proper expectations, you would know that falling down is a part of the journey and thus you would not give up so easily.
The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again.
—Proverbs 24:16
Did you read that scripture closely? Seven times. Not once, not twice, not three times. Notice godliness is not dependent on never falling. What matters most is that you get up again.
Root #2: Misreading your failed attempts
The second root is treating a failed attempt as failure. You may already be experiencing this. I will give you an idea of what that looks and sounds like?
- The whisper. “God is tired of you. He’s seen your name come up on the ‘fell short’ list so many times that He’s probably going to mute you.”
- The quit. “I’ll come back to God once I get it together.
- The hide. You skip church. You dodge prayer meetings. Your prayer partner hasn’t heard from you in weeks, and you let her call ring like it’s a bill collector. (We’ve all done it. No judgment here.)
- The doubt. “Maybe I was never really saved to begin with.” (If that’s your loudest voice, I’ve been there too. I wrote about it in Do You Ever Doubt Your Salvation? I Did Too!)
Do you see what happened? The fall happened once or perhaps even a few times. Now you’re misreading what it means, and that failed attempt has become your definition of who you are.
Ultimately, a failed attempt does not mean you will not make it to your destination in the end.
Think about your GPS. You miss a turn, and it doesn’t say, “Clearly you’re not meant to get there.” It says, calmly, “Recalculating.” It doesn’t cancel the trip. It gives you a new route from right where you are. God isn’t shocked by your mistakes either. I love the quote that says, “God factored in your mistakes when He called you.”
For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.
—Psalm 103:14
You are not a failure. You’re not incapable of following God. You’re not behind. You’re not alone. You’re a human being who’s learning to walk spiritually, and your Father is not going anywhere.
How to Keep Growing as a Believer After You Fall
In my book, Deep Roots, I walk through a five-step “Get Back Up” plan. I won’t unpack all five here, but I want to give you one that ties right back to everything above: adjust your expectations.
Growth takes time. A seed doesn’t become a tree overnight, and you won’t mature spiritually overnight either. Be patient with yourself, because God is already patient with you. As long as you keep getting back up, keep turning back to Him, and keep pressing forward, you’re on the right track.
Until Next Time
Be strong. Be Courageous. Serve God Wholeheartedly.
P.S. If you’ve been stuck in the repent, get up, fall cycle for years, I wrote Deep Roots for you. I was stuck for a long time before I wrote it, and it’s the practical guide I wish I’d had in my rededication era. Grab your copy here.
Has your walk with God been a straight line or a zigzag? Be honest. Tell me in the comments. No judgment zone.
