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When I first visited a local church, I felt like I had “BABY BELIEVER” stamped on my forehead. Everyone knew the songs. Everyone knew the lingo. Everyone knew when to stand and when to sit. I did not. Part of me wanted to run away out of sheer confusion, but the other part of me knew I was sitting in an answered prayer.
So how did I end up there? One morning, I woke up wanting to go to church. I posted about it on Facebook, and a friend ended up inviting me to her home church. I visited, and that is where I was met with all of the awkwardness of being a curious unbeliever visiting a church.
How I Found My Tribe
Even in my discomfort, I pushed through those emotions. After visiting for some time, I eventually started attending that local church. Not long after, I felt a nudge to join the youth ministry team. “Who, me? I barely know anything!” But I obeyed that nudge. Those youth pastors took me under their wing, trained me in prayer, taught me to hear God’s voice, and helped me discover gifts I didn’t know I had. For over four transformative years, I grew under them.
Somewhere in between, a call went out for media volunteers, and I joined. At first, I was terrified of being on camera, but once again, I obeyed. That’s where I discovered my gift for media, marketing, and communication. A gift that is now touching lives through my YouTube channel, social media pages, this blog, and my books. None of that would have happened in isolation. I needed a tribe or community.
Growth Was Never Meant to Be a Solo Journey
The healthiest environments are built on relationships that support us, strengthen us, and sometimes even protect us when we can’t protect ourselves.
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow.
—Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (KJV)
Wherever you are on your journey, know that we all grow better together. That’s why it’s necessary to tackle the three excuses that keep believers, new and mature, from finding their tribe and settling into the right community.
3 Excuses Keeping You From Finding Your Tribe
I’ve heard these excuses many times from other new believers.
1. “I can’t find the right community”
You may not know where to start, but please know God has a community for you. Pray about it, then visit as you feel led (a church someone mentioned, a Bible study you heard about, an invite that pops up out of nowhere). Give each place at least three visits, unless there’s a glaring red flag telling you to run.
Community does not always have to be in a large church. Take one baby step this week. Reach out to one person, one believer you can form a bond with. The Gospel Coalition takes it one step further by suggesting you invite this person over for dinner. These steps will help you to embrace communities and potential tribe that may be around you.
2. “These people are different from me”
A community can be a melting pot of diversity. There may be persons with different cultures, backgrounds, or worship styles. That’s a strength, not a problem. Diversity makes a community stronger. Diversity is also reflective of Gods heart towards humanity. He loves all people. If you push through your initial differences, you will find what feels foreign today might become family tomorrow.
3. “I don’t fit in”
Everyone in that room was new to that environment. When you’re isolated, you’re exposed to every harsh element. Push through the discomfort by introducing yourself, joining a small group, or volunteering. The room that feels foreign at first can become the exact place you need to flourish. (If you’re new to this Christian life, 3 Things to Expect After You Get Saved as a New Believer is a good next read.)
It Can Start With One Person
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
—Proverbs 27:17 (KJV)
Community can come in all different shapes and sizes. You may not find a church family right away, but there may be an online Bible study group If that isn’t the right fit either, as mentioned before, it might be one safe believer you can walk with. Pray and ask God who and where your tribe is. He will answer.
As a new believer, which of those three excuses has held you back the most from finding your tribe?
I would love to hear about it in the comments.
Until Next Time,
Be strong. Be Courageous. Serve God Wholeheartedly.
P.S. Community is one of five spiritual disciplines I walk through in Deep Roots, along with prayer, worship, reading Scripture, and fasting. It’s a practical guide for new believers who feel stuck and want to grow in their walk with God.
