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The quarter-life crisis is a topic you don’t read about every day.
On occasion, I get the opportunity to stand in front of a crowd and share about my quarter-life crisis. Audiences (young and old) literally burst into laughter at the existence of such a crisis.
Baby Boomers & Generations X find it hilarious that a person so young could actually be experiencing a crisis. After all, we are millennials. The generation that has it “all.” Swiftly advancing technologies, an abundance of information at our fingertips, and freedom to express ourselves.
Despite this, most millennials have no idea what they are experiencing is, in fact, a crisis. The feelings associated with the quarter-life crisis is usually labelled as a part of growing up.
Before you join the laughing band at the notion of the quarter-life crisis, I’m here to announce the quarter-life crisis is, in fact, very real. So real, that I experienced it and wrote a book about that experience.
The Muse reports the quarter-life crisis as a period of intense soul searching and stress occurring in your mid-20s to early 30s. During this period, it is not uncommon for young adults to experience stress about the direction and quality of their lives.
Just as each person is unique, the timing of this crisis is unique. Forbes tells us it’s not a matter of if millennials will experience the quarter-life crisis, but when.
If you can relate…
Have a seat, grab a coffee, and let’s talk this through. When you and I became adults, no one gave us a handbook on how to create the life we dreamed about.
If you got one, pretty please send me your copy. 
It all happened incredibly fast. One day our teachers were asking what we wanted to become when we grew up. Then we were teenagers whose most significant responsibility was to turn in homework on time. Only a few months after graduating high school, we had to think about real-life choices.
Like how to build a career, pay bills, save, invest, and the endless responsibilities of adulting. Mainly, we had to learn how to “adult” and do it quickly with little adjustment period. Soon enough, each one of us realized that maybe this “adulting” thing is not as easy as our parents made it look. Hence a quarter-life crisis hit.
Thoughts such as
- “I should have accomplished this by now.”
- “My life should not look like this”
- “I’m lagging behind.”
are often pretty good symptoms of a quarter-life crisis. Sounds familiar?
Well, if it does, Heaven just smiled down on you. Due to my meltdown quarter-life crisis, I learned how to overcome this period of instability. I share every lesson I’ve learned.
Here are a snippet and some realizations I had to come to in order to overcome:
You Are Not The Driver
Numero Uno! Realize you are not the Author and Finisher of your life. Even before you were born, God had a plan for your life. Whether you believe it or not, you are called by God. This holds true even when it does not seem that way.
When you are the driver of a vehicle, then knowing the direction the car must go in is necessary. However, when you are just a passenger, you can fall asleep and still make it to your destination.
Your life has a purpose. It has meaning. While you have a part to play, you are not solely responsible for bringing it to pass. You have God, your Creator, patiently waiting to lead you, guide you, and steer you in the right direction. How comforting!
Seasons Change
This quarter-life crisis is just a season or period of time. Just like any season, it will come to an end. You will get through this trial.
Remind yourself that a period of instability is often an opportunity to restructure. One of my favorite sayings is, “Structure comes before the increase.” For a house to be built and filled with beautiful furnishing and people, the right structure has to be in place.
Any time I’m going through a weird phase in my life, I remind myself that I am being built up and structured for a greater increase. Before you can receive an increase in any area of your life, be it your finance, relationships, or spiritual life, the correct structures must first be in place.
Do not despise this season when structures are being positioned in your life. Though it may be uncomfortable, this season will change, and you will be ready for the next season of increase.
Your Journey is Your Journey
There! I said it! Now can we stop the comparison game? There is too much danger in comparison. Just because you felt you should have completed a particular task or achieve a particular goal by a specific time does not mean that it was destined to be so. Self-imposed expectations are a set up for disappointment.
- Who said you should complete a degree by 22?
- Who said you should be married by 25?
- Who said you should have a house by 30?
- Who said you need to have all your babies by 35?
Everyone’s path is unique. Your journey was designed for you and you alone. What you may be able to handle can absolutely destroy someone else and vice-versa. While you may not always like it….embrace it.
Enjoy the good moments and ride out the not so good ones.
Life is not a destination and indeed not a race.
Your journey holds many great lessons that are just as valuable as arriving at your destination.
It’s your journey, and nobody else’s.
Get the full scoop on how I kicked the quarter-life crisis all the way to the curb here.
Know that you are not alone, your life solves a problem in this generation, and you are loved, not just by me, but most importantly, by God.
Lots & Lots of Hugs!
Until Next Time…
Be Strong. Be Courageous. Serve God Wholeheartedly.
Gilberta Thompson
