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It was a Wednesday night some 13 years ago. I was preparing myself for the usual nightclub extravaganza. Cute outfit, make-up on deck, and friends that were ready for the roadddd 😜. Little did I know, God had another plan. By the end of that night, I would give my life to Jesus.

Let’s Rewind…

At the age of 19, I was at the lowest point of my life. My mom and I were not on good terms and I moved out of her home. I was going through boyfriend drama and briefly unemployed. I could sum up my emotional state in two words. Rejected and Lonely.

As a result, I did what most naive teenagers would do. I searched out a quick fix to numb my emotions. This included partying in hopes of drowning my sorrows in the nightclub experiences. To be honest, God was the last person on my mind.

I was not a stranger to God. Although I was not raised in a Christian home, I attended a Christian school. I heard about God but never connected with Him personally.

The Night God Found Me

A few of my friends were newly saved and invited me to a prophetic prayer meeting. I had no experience with the prophetic, nor did I know what to do when you receive a prophetic word.  Nonetheless, I was intrigued.

My friend excitedly beamed about her experience at this meeting. The prophetic voice hosting the prayer meeting accurately explained to her all that she was going through and spoke prophecies concerning her future.

I thought,  “Maybe this woman can tell me something, I mean anything, about my future.” Sis over here was desperate. I needed hope of any kind, even from a woman I never met.

Unfortunately, that night did not go as planned. The prayer meeting was officially canceled. You know what that meant! I was back to my partying plans. Instead, my friend suggested we stop at her friend (a minister’s) house.  That night I left his house a Christian.

The Struggle Is Real

Despite my initial enthusiasm, I struggled immensely in my Christian walk.  I was in and out of a relationship with God for seven long years, but I would describe it as more out than in. I was a notorious backslider with no clue on how do I stop backsliding.

The very last time I fell away from God, I gave up. I told myself I was tired of “playing” with God. I would not return until I was ready to commit myself completely to God.  This was the biggest mistake ever.

In that time frame, I started to live with my on and off again boyfriend, dropped out of college, and did whatever I pleased.  Despite all of this, I knew that I loved God and longed to have a relationship with Him like we used to.

The Return

One morning, I felt a strong desire to go to church. I did not have a church home since I had not graced the doors of a sanctuary in years. I had left Jesus, therefore, at that time, I had no clue it was God drawing me back to Him.

While taking my morning stroll through social media, on my timeline was an unexpected invitation. A friend of mine posted this invitation for all to see. I thought to myself,   “What a coincidence? Surely this has to be a sign.” I messaged her and in a few short minutes, I was on my way to church.

I attended that church as a visitor and sporadically for another 2 years before I recommitted my life to God. One particular sermon pierced my heart.  The pastor said,  “If you are constantly being convicted of wrongdoing, this is a good space to be in. However, when a conviction has left you and you are no longer sorry when you do wrong, you are in a dangerous place.”

Those words pierced my heart. I clearly saw how far my heart had moved from God.  Here I was in one breath saying I loved God, but my actions clearly displayed how little I cared about how He felt about the way I was living. It was a reality check and I knew I needed to change once and for all.

The Final Yes To Salvation

Sometime later, I made a decision. I was going to serve Jesus and give my all to Him.  I had hard conversations with my boyfriend and friends explaining this is the road I would now be taking.

To be honest, I was fearful because I was not sure what their reaction would be, but I was even more afraid of losing out on building a real relationship with God. I just knew in my heart it was all or nothing.

Day by day, week by week, and year by year, I made choices to stay away from certain environments, stop listening to certain types of music, and practice sobriety.  Instead, I attended church more, read my Bible consistently, listened to worship music, and hung out with other believers who were on fire for God.

There were times I had to make hard decisions, some that even hurt, but God empowered and strengthened me.  Before I knew it, my desires changed.

The Result

My journey has not been a perfect one.  Every day God is still perfecting me.  At the risk of sounding completely cliché, surrendering my life to God has been the best decision I could have made. My life has never been the same.

I’m no longer the depressed 19-year-old who was rejected and lonely. The Holy Spirit has taught me more than I can ever explain.

• He exposed my weak areas and lovingly helped me to correct them.
• Taught me how to truly forgive those who have hurt me.
• Guided me into my purpose.
• Reveled my gifts and how to use them to honor Him.
• Given me peace beyond human comprehension.

Your Turn

If you are in a place of struggle like I once was, I want you to know that you can come back to God no matter how bad you have messed up. God is not done with you. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. God forgave an undeserving notorious backslider like me and turned my life around for the better. Without a doubt, God is waiting to do the same for you.

I’m praying for you and I am always one comment or email away.

Until Next Time,

Be Strong, Be Courageous, Serve God Wholeheartedly.

If you want to know more about my story grab a copy of my book, “I’m 25, Now What?” here!