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For the past few years, writing has been my place of solace.
- When I was angry, I wrote.
- When I felt sad, I wrote.
- When I was happy, I wrote.
- When I did not know what to do, I wrote.
As time progressed that writing evolved into this beautiful journey of sharing my life and faith with all of you (My story here). Then it happened… Over 18 months ago, it felt like my pen ran out of ink. Statistically, the blog was growing, but I felt myself being lurred into a wilderness season. A season where I would have to sacrifice what I relied on for comfort.
Initially, I was not enthused about this wilderness. Eventually, I began to live with it. Ultimately, dare I say it, I became comfortable with living without writing consistently. Of course, this was short lived.
Eventually, no matter how much I prolonged it, the pen glowed, divinely the ink was refilled, and I knew it was time to write again, share again, and reconnect with all of you.
In two simple words, I’m backkkkkkk.
In these months, I have experienced more transitions than I could have ever imagined. Each transition provided clarity of my purpose. Although I can not pen them all into one blog post, I want to share some of the beautiful lessons I have embraced and the ones I’m still learning to embrace.
Humilty
50+ story buildings
Peaceful island beaches
A mix of languages ringing in the airwaves
Trend-setting historical shows ….
are just a few words to describe the traveling whirlwind I was swept in over the past year.
The entire world was in the middle of a war against Covid and a global pandemic. I promise you, I could have never imagined the amount of traveling I was about to step into.
Every city,
every airport ride,
every delayed flight opened my eyes and exposed me to the world as I have never seen it before.
I gained:
- a deeper sense of patience
- an understanding of the beauty in embracing new cultures
- and the intentionality needed to expand my mind to a world beyond my countries borders.
All of these lessons were beautiful but THE overarching lesson I cling to most tightly is “Never stop deepening the roots of humility in your heart”.
Cuba
I visited the beautiful island of Cuba on two occasions. Those visits humbled me in a way I did not foresee.. I learned to appreciate the ease of the life I’m able to live in the Bahamas while also feeling compassion for those who do not experience this same ease. It reminded me that having my basic needs (food, water, safety) in itself is a blessing. My gratitude has reached new heights.
Canada
Then there was Canada. Canada taught me there are no lengths too far to show love and compassion to family. This one was personal. Confession, sometimes I can be a grinch. I can be completely swept up in my own world. More and more, I’m learning how to be sensitive to others. This awareness, sensitivity, and compassion is not always about how I feel, but it is an action I should display no matter how I feel. Sacrificing for others even when forced out of my comfort zone is one of the most humbling experiences ever. I believe this is and will always be the Jesus way.
Las Vegas
Las Vegas, while also extremely fun, taught me the power of networking and building businesses. While I always had thoughts about business and even pursued it to some degree, inspiration filled the air as I observed other professionals maneuver in faith.
It was this trip that solidified my confidence.
My inners thoughts screamed,
“Berta, you can do this! You can steward the gift of entrepreneurship God has given you. You can use it not to simply enrich yourself but to impact the lives of every person that crosses your path. The only limits you have are the ones you put on yourself. Humble yourself, lift this gift to God, and let him use it.”
This epiphany was humbling.
Healing
Aside from traveling, if there was another theme for this hiatus, it would be healing, both emotionally and physically. The word healing in itself sounds soothing. It implies that there is peace because whatever you are healing from is over.
Well babbyyyy, no one ever told me that healing is also incredibly painful.
Any form of healing first requires a diagnosis. You can not be healed from anything without first identifying what you need healing from. This awareness in itself is where the pain comes in.
Physically, I received a diagnosis (that I’m not quite ready to share the details of) but it rocked my world in a way I did not even think possible.
It reminded me that while God loves me deeply, my version of the road to happily ever after and his version of this same path most times are quite different.
My version usually looks like I pray and almost immediately God makes it happen. His version requires me to work, wait, trust, develop, endure, grieve, process, and believe no matter the outcome. I’m still working on this but I’ve gotten much better at accepting this truth.
There goes that lesson on humility again!
Physically, I have not completely received my promise or complete healing but I’m definitely in route. I’ll share more about this in a later blog.
As difficult as the journey to heal physically has been, The real pain came through the journey of emotional healing.
- Reliving the past
- Reflecting on my mistakes
- Identifying trauma
- Processing the pain
- Learning to forgive myself and others
- Rediscovering myself
This has been one of the most difficult journeys of my life to date. Simultaneously, It has also been one of the most rewarding journeys of my life to date.
Although I’m also still processing (because healing is continual), now more than ever I know who I am and why God allowed me to experience what I did.
I’m clear on the direction God is moving my feet to go. I see his hand in all of it. I’m aware of my strengths, my weaknesses, and the Grace that is carrying me through. I know without a doubt if it had not been for God *insert church shout*
What You Can Expect
Since my hiatus is officially over, more than ever I want to get back to my passion. Which is to share everything I’ve learned to help someone else. This will be through blog posts, emails, social media updates, YouTube videos, and maybe even a book *wink wink*. (Get connected if you haven’t already).
Even in the darkest tunnels, the light I see at the end is that each experience, no matter how earth shattering, gifts me with a lesson that can be used as medicine for someone else’s hurting soul.
I’ll be here writing, recording, praying, and sharing with you every step of the way.
Until next time,
Be Strong, Be Courageous, Serve God Wholeheartedly
P.S. Leave a comment or send an email letting me know what you have been up to! I always love to hear from you.
